he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
