i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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