we have officially lost it.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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