with your own penis?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He better not be in your backpack
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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