haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am one with the molecules
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
