had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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