He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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