Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
