did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
