Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize