Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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