no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
