You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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