I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
