I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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