why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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