And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
