I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
