i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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