Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
