It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
