where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
