If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
