Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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