i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
