Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
