some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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