the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
