i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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