whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
