i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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