If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
