WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize