I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
