just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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