um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
