u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
