omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
