i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
