Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
