Nicole vs. Life
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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