I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
