So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
