toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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