My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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