Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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