Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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