Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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