i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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