Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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