i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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