We're like a lot better than the average bears
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
