Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
God, I missed his penis.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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