do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
