I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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