Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
