that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
