Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
