Whod you bang
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
