Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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